The Evil Uncle

Daily Mail are f**king idiots

Posted in bullshit, daily mail, emo, idiots, music, news, Uncategorized by bandsxbass on March 12, 2008

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Here’s the classic ’emo’ Daily Mail story. This is why i hate the Daily Mail. Emos driving Vespas? Lilly Allen being goth? Do your research !

I actually got loads of my friends in the rock music industry to comment on this article but none of them got printed! How’s that for freedom of speech from the Daily [Hate] Mail? The problem I have with this article is that it has been written by someone who has absolutely no idea what they are talking about, trying to comprehend a scene that has nothing to do with them, thus coming across as massively ignorant. In turn, they will make others panic about something they have no clue about – hence the title “Parents warned over the new EMO goth danger”. What twaddle.

Parents warned over the new EMO goth danger

Flicking through the autumn glossy fashion magazines, I noticed that some of the models did not look very well. A few of them appeared to be dead. This is because one of the key looks, especially at the younger end of the fashion spectrum, is Goth. Faces are chalky white, eyes and lips black. You can wear any colour you like so long as it’s black. To achieve that just-got-out-of-acoffin look, you need corsets, capes, Celtic crosses, an unseeing stare and a prop such as a slightly mutilated china doll dragged along in one hand. For those of us who have lived through Siouxsie And The Banshees and the Rocky Horror Show, the look is depressingly retro. Fashion acknowledges those of us who lived through it first time round – Elder Goths, as opposed to Baby Bats, who are the under-30s.

Firstly, no goths that I have talked to have ever heard of ‘baby bats’. The journo just made this up. Also, they didn’t even bother to spellcheck the article : “just-got-out-of-acoffin look”.  Spelling mistakes are annoying, but from ‘journalists’? Also, who is the journalist to speak for an entire generation who were into Siouxsie and the Banshees? I passed by one of their shows recently and it was sold out.

It even nods to a working population, permitting Corporate Goths, who wear black trouser suits. There is a also a term which is new to me and amounts to a much more dangerous teenage cult. The Emos – short for Emotional – regard themselves as a cool, young sub-set of the Goths.

Emos have nothing to do with Goths!! If anything they are opposites!!! And ‘Emo’ isn’t short for just Emotional! It’s short for Emotional Hardcore, a sub-section of Hardcore Punk music. Do your research, smartass.

Although the look is similar, the point of distinction, frightening for schools and parents, is a celebration of self harm. Emos exchange competitive messages on their teenage websites about the scars on their wrists and how best to display them.

SWEEPING Generalisation!

Girls’ secondary schools have for some time been concerned about the increase in self harm. One governor of a famous boarding school told me that it was as serious a problem as binge drinking, but rarely discussed for fear of encouraging more girls to do it.

Maybe, but this doesn’t have anything to do with Emos, I’m afraid.

Although it is invariably described as a ‘secret shame’, there is actually a streak of exhibitionism about it. The internet has many sites dedicated to Emo fashion (dyed black hair brushed over your face, layering, black, black, black), Emo bands (Green Day, My Chemical Romance), Emo conversation (sighing, wailing, poetry).

Green Day aren’t Emo. Do your research before you comment on it and make housewives nationwide worry about nothing!

The Instant Emo Kit site gives advice on identity. Wear a child’s T-shirt with a slogan such as ‘Unhappy Chick’ and drive a Vespa. Above all, ‘show your inner despair by looking like you are too sad to eat.

I don’t think the journo has got the irony of the Instant Emo Kit.

Obesity and emocity do not mix.’ Adult Goths refer to the Emos disdainfully as ‘the spooky kids’ or ‘moshers’.

Not one goth I talked to about this article has EVER heard of ‘the spooky kids’. Moshers is a term for kids who go to gigs and are into heavy music in general – punks, metallers etc. Two more glaring mistakes in this crappy article.

The Emo song, by the American band Adam And Andrew, has cult status on the internet, appearing on many personal websites. It is called Dear Diary and is both witty and alarming. The chorus goes: ‘Stop my breathing and slit my throat, I must be an Emo. I don’t jump around when I go to shows, I must be an Emo.

Errmmm… Isn’t jumping around at a show called ‘moshing’? According to this article, Emos don’t mosh. Now apparently they do.

Dye in my hair and polish on my toes, I must be an Emo. I play guitar and write suicide notes, I must be an Emo.’ The courting of misery and death is a long-established teenage tradition. How many bedroom walls have been plastered with posters of drippy pre-Raphaelite heroines, or Marc Bolan or Kurt Curbain? When death is a long way off, you can afford to be more morbid about it. Film-makers note that horror films are now more popular than romance among young women.

EXACTLY! So why are you blaming all this self harm and depression on the Emo scene? What is the justification?

In particular, Goths and Emos are a rebellion against sporty, manly cultures – which is perhaps why they flourish particularly in North European countries or North America. The androgynous nature of the Goths is appealing to the young because it is sexually unthreatening.

What? On what evidence are you basing this? You know nothing about the scene! Stop explaining it with half truths and guesses!

Teenage girls are frightened of manliness: they like boys who look like girls. Kate Moss, the girl who never grows old, understands youthful taste completely.

There is also a deadly glamour about the Goths. The word femme-fatale is Goth based. Many of the alluring women of our time – Nigella Lawson, Debbie Harry, Chrissie Hynde, Sophie Ellis Bextor, Lily Allen – have a touch of the Goth about them.

Nigella Lawson!! A goth? And Debbie Harry has been a huge role model for thousands of women around the world. Does this fit in with your ‘Emo Warning for parents’?

They have a sophistication and depth lacking in the blonde, bouncy chav faces which dominate our television screens and nightclubs. Who are the male pin-ups for young girls? Johnny Depp and the comedian Russell Brand, who is about 90 per cent Goth.

Hahaha. “About 90 per cent Goth”. Did you get that from extensive mathematical research? Or is it a sweeping generalised statement, like most of this article?

Lord Byron, of course, was the greatest Goth of all time. Emos have a strong arts graduate bias and are among the few that read poetry (if only of the romantic, morbid kind). Some pretty terrible Emo poetry is offered on websites. A cartoon of two Emos has a bubble which says: ‘What rhymes with razor blade?

Does this idiot journo not realise the irony? Of course the razor blade cartoon is a joke. Are you stupid as well as bigoted? What’s worse is that the journo probably realises the irony but has printed it out of context anyway to back up their shit, unresearched article. Which is even worse really…

‘ But compared to the music, the poetry is positively cheerful. The Gothic bands have names such as Bloody, Dead And Sexy or Colder Than Death.

No Goths I spoke to had ever heard of these bands. True, al lot of metal/goth bands have names like that, but those are just made up. At least name some real bands!

There is a genre, popular in Germany, known as Death Pop. Bands include The Knives In The Attic and Love Equals Death.

So? Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it is bad.

Although Goths are from the same family tree as punks, they are a lot less fun to be with.

Is that official? And as mentioned earlier, Emo is actually a sub section of Punk anyway, not Goth.

DO YOUR RESEARCH!

While I loved punk for its energy, Goths were too bloodless to lift a finger.

Clearly you didn’t love punk otherwise you’d know a bit more, and be a bit more sympathetic, about Emo.

One of the most annoying characteristics of teenagers is their refusal to open their curtains. Their world is dark and airless. If this environment is coupled with the psychological traits of self-pity, introspection, self-dramatisation and hormone imbalance, you have a fully-fledged Emo, even without the small Tshirt and black hair.

Aren’t the “psychological traits of self-pity, introspection, self-dramatisation and hormone imbalance” traits of teenagers anyway? What has any of this got to do with the Emo scene?

The wondrous thing about being an adult is that you have so much more to worry about that you stop striking poses and get on with it.

Right, so adults don’t pose do they? How about you browse throught the glossy magazine you mentioned at the beginning of your article. I’m sure you’ll find a lot posers there. Or is that ok, because you understand it?

Unless you are an Elder Goth – in which case you have fashion on your side and everybody else against you.

Yes that’s right. Everybody!

What worries me is that teenagers are less equipped to manage strong emotions and a cult of suicide could have real and horrible consequences. It is irresponsible for the fashion and music cultures to encourage it. If you want retro style, I recommend Ian Dury’s song Reasons To Be Cheerful.

So your conclusion to all that is that we should all listen to, and make our teenagers listen to, happy music, in case any of them go Goth.

You fucking hack journo. You are the reason I hate the Dail [Hate] Mail, and everything it stands for. I’ll tell you what’s “irresponsible” – writing awful articles like that and making readers worry…

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2 Responses

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  1. […] pointed me in the direction of this freshly-curled log of codswallop) has previously written about how the Mail just doesn’t get emo. It doesn’t get much, to be fair. It clearly doesn’t understand teenagers, or any kind […]

  2. chai said, on September 14, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    how an earth did that guy manage to have get a job?
    more than what it says about the daily mail / what does that say about the apparent
    HIGHER education that journalist got. I mean if that ain’t bad enough he throws in something about the emo scene being non sexually threatening. I suppose thats why he had to thrown in the word ‘MANLY’ because it is the emos which are sexually threatend??
    I don’t even want to get started on goth i mean just, its fucking unbelievable that such shit writing could actually make it onto paper
    good for putting up eh
    need more people pointing out the fucktards on this planet
    good on ya
    Cheers
    -chai / C.O.


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